The Money Beliefs Running Your Career (Without You Knowing It)
I was presenting my chemistry dissertation at St Andrews University, about to graduate with a degree in Chemistry and Mathematics. When the formal part was over, one of the professors asked me what I would do next. I tried to avoid answering. He asked again, wondering if it would be Master's studies in Chemistry, and where exactly. I finally said I was going to London to do a Master's in Finance.
No answer, no comment.
To this day, I do not know if the judgment was real or if I imagined it. But I do know that I wished I did not have to answer. Part of me felt guilty for "leaving science for the money." For passing on the opportunity to potentially do something great (not that I thought I was destined for a big scientific breakthrough, quite the opposite!), and contribute to research of some kind, all to go down the more lucrative path.
It does not matter in the end. What matters is what it represented: the guilt and the shame around money. I did not recognize it back then, though - too young, too all over the place.
Arriving at Imperial, where applications to banks and consulting firms started in September, the moment the semester began, and where the daily conversation became "Where are you applying?" and "Where are you interviewing?", it quickly felt like there was no choice at all. You went with it. London is expensive, after all. If you wanted to live in a good location and enjoy what the city offered, your options were finance and consulting jobs - and then, most other jobs, if you wanted to earn half the salary.
Yet I did not examine those money beliefs then, either. It would take more than 10 years, after giving birth to my first baby, and deciding to redesign my career and create one that would actually fit my life, personality, and talents. Once I had to put a price on my own work, I realized that money was about something far deeper than career strategy or lifestyle choices. That is when my own journey began - understanding my relationship with money, the patterns I had been running for years, my beliefs about it, and how those beliefs had shaped my life and work choices.
Where money beliefs come from
Current research points to our early childhood for the formation of money beliefs - specifically, by age 6 or 7. There are a few tricky things about this:
At this age, our conscious brain is not fully developed yet, and we are absorbing everything like sponges, learning incredibly fast (anyone with small children knows how fascinating it is to watch them connect dots every single day)
We have not yet fully understood for ourselves what is right and what is wrong, and we take things at face value
We generally trust our parents and caregivers, and whatever they model often becomes our template
We absorb feelings, not facts
This is the crucial part: It is not about how much money your family actually had. It's about how they felt about money.
You could have grown up in a relatively well-off family and still have scarcity beliefs, because what you picked up was not the state of bank balance. It was the stress in your mother's voice when bills came. Potential tension between your parents about spending. The unspoken anxiety that "it could all disappear."
Or the opposite: You could have grown up with very little money but never felt scarcity because your parents were relaxed and creative, and they modeled abundance even with limited resources.
What we pick up as children:
How parents talked about money: stressed? relaxed? never mentioned?
Whether there was "enough" or always a sense of lack
Whether money was easy to earn or "it did not grow on trees."
Whether having money made you good or bad
Whether you could trust it to be there, or "it always comes and goes."
And unless we question these beliefs as adults, they run invisibly in the background, silently shaping most career decisions we make.
How money beliefs show up in your career
Most of us do not even realize that our money beliefs are driving our careers. We think we are making rational decisions based on ambition, fulfillment, opportunity, or "what is next."
But underneath, we are often making decisions based on a 6-year-old's understanding of money and safety. Here's how it shows up:
Why do we choose certain paths
The career you chose at 22 was probably not just about "following your passion" or "what you are good at."
It was also about: Will this pay well? Will I be financially secure? What will people think? Is this a "safe" choice?
Those questions are not neutral - they are loaded with the beliefs you absorbed about money:
If you learned "money = security," you chose the corporate path over the risky one
If you learned "money = status," you chased titles and prestige
If you learned "you have to work very hard to deserve money," you picked the most demanding and exhausting path available
Why do we stay in jobs that no longer fit
The golden handcuffs are not really about the money.
Yes, the salary is good. Yes, you would have to take a pay cut to leave. Yes, there are bills, and mortgages, and childcare costs.
But the real reason you stay is the belief underneath:
"If I leave, I will never earn this much again."
"I will not be able to support my family."
"Money is hard to come by; I cannot risk losing this."
"I should be grateful for what I have" (even if it is making you pretty miserable)
These are not facts. They are your beliefs. And they have the potential to keep you stuck for quite a long time.
Why we overwork
If you learned that "money does not grow on trees" or "you have to work hard for everything you get," guess what?
You work hard. Very hard. Even when you do not need to anymore. Even when you are earning well, and have substantial savings too. Even when you have "made it" by external measures. You cannot shake the belief that if you stop working this hard, it will all disappear.
Signs your money beliefs need examining
How do you know if your relationship with money needs examining?
Here are some patterns to look for:
1. You spend what you earn (no matter how much you earn)
You get a promotion. Your salary increases. And somehow, your spending increases to match it.
There is always something that "needs" buying. The nicer apartment. The better nursery. That great holiday your friends recommended.
You are not bad with money. You just have a belief running underneath: "Money is meant to be spent" or "I do not trust myself to have money, so I get rid of it."
2. You hoard and never feel like it's "enough."
The opposite pattern: You save obsessively. You track every expense. You feel anxious about spending on anything "unnecessary."
Even when you have quite significant savings, you do not feel secure. There is always a voice saying, "It could all disappear" or "Money comes and goes, you cannot trust it."
3. Your self-worth is directly tied to how much you earn
When you earn more, you feel valuable. When you earn less (or take time off), you feel worthless.
Your identity = your income. And that belief underneath: “My value is measured in money”.
4. You believe having money makes you good or bad
Money carries moral weight for you.
Having "too much" makes you greedy, selfish, or out of touch. Not having enough makes you virtuous, humble, or good.
You might downplay your success, hide how much you earn, or feel ashamed of wanting more.
5. You avoid looking at your finances
You do not check your bank balance. You put off opening bills. You have a vague sense of what you earn and spend, but avoid the details.
6. You forget to include yourself in the financial equation
When I started my company in Brazil, I built a detailed financial plan. Revenue projections, costs, expenses, everything - except my own salary.
I did not forget it by accident, though. I simply did not even think to include it. The company had costs. But me? I would just rely on my savings to finance my personal life.
It did not occur to me that I, the founder and the person actually running this business, should be paid properly. What I would have earned working for someone else was not part of the equation.
This specific one shows up when you are building something of your own - whether a company, a side project, or a portfolio career. You invest in everything except yourself. You pay everyone except yourself. You treat your own time and expertise as if it has no value.
Over the years, I have observed other founders do this more often than expected - and unfortunately, without wanting to generalize, even more when it comes to female founders.
Why examining money beliefs is essential to career redesign
I have seen it time and time again: people staying in jobs where they are unhappy because they "have to." There is seemingly no other choice. No other industry will pay that much. No other city will pay that much.
This is particularly true in London, where most of my clients are based - I hear this argument constantly. And interestingly, people only look at the top line, when what actually matters is what is left after all the costs are paid (and if you live in London and have a family there, you happen to know how high those costs are!)
Staying, then, is a choice - one justified with a long list of reasons.
Any significant career transition requires looking at different aspects of your life, including your beliefs about work, success, and money. You cannot make free choices about your career if invisible beliefs are running the show, and this is especially true when you're considering self-employment or building a portfolio career (I'll explore this more in the next article)
The career you have is not just a result of your choices; it is also a direct result of your beliefs about what is possible, what is safe, and what you deserve.
And until you examine these beliefs, you are not the only one designing your career. Your childhood is.
Suggestion
I will not try to provide any specific answers, as everyone, anyway, has their own. Nor provide a formula to "fix" your money beliefs overnight (for expectation-setting purposes: this money work takes months, sometimes years)
But if any of this resonated, ask yourself:
What did I learn about money before I was 7?
How did my parents feel about it?
What beliefs might I still be carrying?
Which of my life and career decisions might have been based on those beliefs - and not on what I actually wanted?
How is this showing up in my life today?
The answers might surprise you!