Career transition & its messy middle

We humans like certainty; we always have.

For most of our history, our survival depended on it. This is where our herd instinct comes from: wanting to fit in, to belong, to avoid being disliked, rejected, or worst of all - abandoned.

Abandonment once meant death. We couldn’t survive long without the tribe.

So it’s no surprise that we prefer our comfort zones. We might not love them, but they feel safe, so we stay.
Until something shifts.

Sometimes we reach a breaking point where we know the old path no longer works. Other times, life decides for us.

Either way, change rarely feels easy. And it’s always a process.

The first wave: relief & excitement

At first, there’s relief.

Even if the decision was made for us, somewhere deep down, we know the old situation wasn’t right anymore.

Then comes excitement - all the opportunities we could finally explore!

But soon, that excitement turns to overwhelm. Too many options can paralyze us.

We go from dreaming about freedom... to fearing uncertainty.

Even when we longed to leave that unfulfilling job, we still miss the safety of belonging to a company, a team, a title.

That sense of being “part of something” fades, and suddenly we’re in the messy middle:
no clear role, no new identity yet — just a lot of space, possibilities, and confusion.

The messy middle itself

This phase often catches people off guard — especially if we’ve never been through a real transition before.

By that I mean the space in between jobs: When there’s no next role lined up, when the path ahead is unclear, and when every option has its pros and cons — leaving us unsure what’s right.

It’s a time of confusion, self-doubt, ups, and downs.

Even with financial security, we can feel deeply unsettled because we’re no longer part of something bigger.

Our minds start spinning:

“There’s too much competition.”
“There are no good jobs left.”
“AI will replace us anyway.”

And from that mindset, it’s hard to move forward or create anything new.

What’s really going on

Our sense of safety has been shaken, not just mentally, but physically.

Our nervous system goes into fight-or-flight, even when no real threat exists.
It’s as if a bear is chasing us… Except that the “bear” is uncertain.

And that’s completely natural.

We’re wired for safety, not for the unknown. Yet every reinvention asks us to walk right into that unknown.

How to move through it

Here are a few ways to make that “messy middle” a little easier:

Accept the mess: Change is rarely linear. It’s a confusing, emotional, and rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. Let go of how you think it should look — life often has better plans than we do.

Acknowledge the identity shift: Career change isn’t just external; it’s deeply personal. You’re not just leaving a job — you’re letting go of an identity. Feel everything: doubt, excitement, impatience, confusion — it’s all part of the process.

Stay open to new possibilities: The unknown feels scary, but it’s also expansive. After years in one field, we can develop tunnel vision.

Try this:

• Talk to people outside your industry.
• Connect with those who’ve built unconventional careers.
• Reach out to people you admire and learn from them.
• Engage in reflection — alone, with a coach, or even through writing.

Be patient with yourself: Transitions take time. Transformation is a process, not a project. Everything you’re feeling is valid — and temporary.

Closing reflection

The messy middle isn’t a mistake — it’s where your next chapter is forming, quietly, beneath the surface.

If you’re there right now, remember: You’re not behind. You’re becoming.